I’m 30. Just this year in March I entered into a new decade excitedly accompanied by: being in love with the Art-man, a new feeling of creativity and a lovely little new house. Things are good……
But…I crave simplicity. I would like things to be a little more certain than they are. I’ve searched for my essentials and whilst a reoccurring student (and money was a little tight), decisions I made to treat myself were arrow sharp and exactly me. Little silk scarves, books, Billie Holiday CDs. I was a woman in total agreement about the ‘sum of her parts.’ However, things have changed and continue to change but something’s remain, maybe my segments are expanding to fill the void. I admire wo/men who dedicate their lives to a certain era or concept: Rockabilly, retro-revival, Vegan lifestyle…..but I’m not that strict or sacred.
I sprawl on the sofa with the Art-man watching an array of movies, drinking far too much wine, eating sushi until my ears could bleed, swapping my latest fad-love weekly. The poor Art-man doesn’t know where he is most days, ‘Oh you’re Japanese today, fancy a green tea?’ but goes along with the patience of a liberal arty.
I don’t like the uncertainty but I don’t like restriction. At 4 I objected to being told which colours to paint with in paint by numbers, I failed a domestic science class for making scones of different sizes (a little one for our new puppy, a large one for my Dad…..etc. ) my reasoning was logical!, I disliked looking the same as my friends but craved to be accepted. See?
I’m stuck so I’ve decided to breathe out and just be…..here’s hoping.